Months went by before I noticed a tiny message engraved on the back of the pendant: “Office Joke.”
My heart dropped. I felt a cold wave wash over me as I started asking around. A few of my teammates had pitched in for it after someone found a cheap, flashy necklace online. The idea was to give it to someone they thought was “trying too hard.” That person, apparently, was me. An intern named Rafi saw me and asked if I’d ever looked at the back of the pendant, laughing as he assumed I was in on the joke. I laughed along, too, but as soon as I was alone, I cried in a bathroom stall for a full ten minutes.
I left the necklace on my dresser and began to withdraw. I stopped going to group lunches and happy hours, and I started adding “focus blocks” to my calendar just to avoid people. My boss, Lorena, even noticed my change in behavior. I told her I was just tired, but the truth was, I was hiding. The worst part was that I didn’t even like most of the people who were laughing at me. But I had let their opinions get to me, and they were poisoning me from the inside out.
Refusing to Be a Punchline
The turning point came during a team meeting. Curtis, who I saw as the main instigator of the joke, made a nasty comment about someone’s shoes. Before I could even think, I blurted out, “Curtis, do you ever get tired of being the punchline guy? Or is it, like, your personality now?”
A hush fell over the room. Then, a few people started chuckling—not with him, but at him. Curtis mumbled, “Just messing around,” but the spell had been broken. It was in that moment that I understood people like him thrive on the silence of others. It really is that serious when you are the one being targeted.
Taking Control of My Own Story
From that day on, I decided to show up for myself. I didn’t get louder; I became clearer. I wore the clothes and colors that I loved. I brought back my favorite red lipstick. I started helping others again, but only when I felt respected. And something truly began to shift. Quieter coworkers started opening up to me. One person shared that she had been teased for her accent. Another told me that my “put-together” look inspired her to try harder, too. By breaking my own silence, I created a space for other people to use their voices.Continue reading…
