The final, unexpected twist in her story was this: She never told my adoptive parents either. I found one last letter at the bottom of the folder addressed to them, dated a year before she died. She never sent it. It was her final confession, explaining the whole story, begging for their forgiveness, and expressing her hope that I would one day understand.
I had spent years being angry at her for being so strict, so distant sometimes. Now, I finally understood why she had to keep such a high emotional wall up. She was forced to hide the most painful, most beautiful truth of her life every single day.
I called my adoptive parents. I told them absolutely everything. There was a long silence on the line. My mom began to cry. My dad was quiet for so long I worried the call had disconnected. Then he finally said something that I will never forget:
“She loved you harder than we ever could. We always knew it. We just didn’t know why.”Continue reading…
